I have a 5 year old german wirehaired pointer/hound mix.  He weighs about 75 lbs and is as sleek as a bullet train.  He’s about as fast as a bullet train as well.  In fact, watching him run brings me more joy than almost anything else I do (skiing and some other unmentionables might top the list).  Though it is a challenge to have a dog as energetic and intelligent as Milo it is also a wonderful opportunity to learn from one of God’s most precious creatures.  Here are 10 things that I’ve learned from Milo over the years.

8. Sleep is good for your body and soul. We are so used to just sleeping 8 hours at night, but sometimes that is not enough.  When we run ourselves ragged we need more opportunity to sleep.  If someday you just can’t get yourself out of bed, then stay there.  Don’t feel bad about it.  Your body needs rest and recovery as much as it needs to be pushed to the limits.  Milo runs himself into the ground, but sleeps and sleeps and sleeps once he’s home.

7. Do what you want, not what others want you to do.  Though as a dog owner, I should resent such a statement, I really admire Milo for this behavior at times.  Why shouldn’t he eat the chicken off the counter that smells so good at 7 pm when he’s hungry from all the adventuring from the day? It’s dinner right? Milo knows that he shouldn’t eat it, but he wants to, and who can blame him?  I’m not saying we should go on a tirade and break the law left and right… I think what I’m getting at is that we often do what pleases others, but forget about what pleases ourselves.  So, the next time you just feel like having a piece of chocolate after dinner, do it, or if you’d rather get a pedicure than drive your best friend’s mom to the airport, don’t feel bad.  YOUR NEEDS MATTER TOO!

6. Sleeping in the sun feels really nice.  Every day, Milo will lay in the sun patch that comes through our living room window.  He’ll just stretch out and soak it all in.   Sun is good for us! It gives us strong bones, boosts our immune system and reduces our stress.  So let’s just lay in the sun! Soak it all in… Let its warmth permeate our body and rejuvenate our souls! (Just wear your sunscreen).

5. Sometimes it’s fun to just break stuff for the fun of breaking stuff.  I’ve yet to find a toy that Milo cannot destroy.  In fact, I think toys are fun for Milo because they can be destroyed.  Sure, why not?  Breaking things makes you feel strong, powerful and confident.  Go to the dollar store.  Buy some cheap plates.  Smash them on the ground. Sweep up the remains and throw them away.  How good did that feel? (Just make sure no animals or children are in the way).

4. Sometimes you just need to let it all out!  Every now and again (bordering on more nows than thens) Milo just barks like a madman.  He barks so loud and gets so riled up that you’d think the world was coming to an end.  Our neighbors probably think that we’ve had few small earthquakes in Salt Lake lately because of his powerful, house shaking bark.  But often, when he’s done with his rant he seems very relaxed and satisfied.  We are always so concerned about being politically correct that we never really say what’s on our mind in a satisfying way.  Unfortunately that’s for good reason most of the time.  But allow yourself some time whether it be alone or with a non-judgmental 3rd party to just VENT! Let it all out. Scream, yell, shout, what ever you need to do.  I imagine it will feel really good and you’ll probably be able to carry on quite well afterward.

3. Playing with others is a great learning opportunity.  I have seen my dog play with so many animals over the years and I think that it has made him a better athlete.  Honestly, watching Milo observe what other animals do is an amazing experience.  You can see his brain working.  If that squirrel can climb the tree, so can I! Though he hasn’t successfully climbed a tree yet, he did manage to make it to the top of Mt. Olympus- the VERY TOP!  (For those of you that haven’t hiked Mt. Olympus, the last 200 vertical feet is sheer boulder scrambling…my dog climbed up it.) So, what do I take from that? Well, simple, though sometimes it’s easy to be threatened by others’ abilities, we need to be inspired by them.  Say to ourselves, if they can do it, SO CAN I!

2. Love unconditionally. Milo doesn’t think about what I look like physically, he doesn’t care how I smell, or how cranky I’ve been lately.  He loves me unconditionally.  He is not afraid to just give in to that feeling of love wholly and completely.  We are often afraid of such a commitment, but what a beautiful thing.

1.  Sometimes you need to stop to smell the roses.  Milo loves to run and play as much as I do, but when we are out he takes everything in.  He sniffs every inch of land that he can get to and takes in his surroundings in all ways possible.  We get so used to using certain senses that we forget how full of an experience we can have if we open ourselves up a bit.  The next time you are on a beautiful hike stop, dig in the dirt, take in the beauty, SMELL THE ROSES… these are opportunities to feel so alive!

MIlo in the snow!

It has been almost 4 weeks since I crashed in Tignes, France for European X-Games, bringing an early end to my 2010-2011 season.  I think I have been avoiding this post for quite sometime, not sure how to convey my thoughts and feelings without sounding like a cry baby or being overly redundant.  None-the-less, this blog is for you the readers, but also for me, to clear my mind.  Avoiding this post isn’t allowing me to move on.  Apparently now, I’m ready.

Despite a “rough” beginning to my season, contest results were good but not great (though my skiing was feeling better than ever), I was keeping my head up.  A rejuvenating trip to Japan seemed like doctor’s orders and indeed provided me with a much needed perspective shift.  My father had crossed his 100 day mark from his stem-cell transplant in November and was recovering well at home with my mom.  My body was feeling good, and I had been able to spend time with my boyfriend doing what we do best: skiing.  The snow conditions worked out miraculously well in Japan and we left the country days before the massive earthquake that sent the whole country into devastation.  I was counting my blessings.  I had realized that I needed to ski for myself, to focus on my strengths and forget about what others’ expectations of me were.  I was ready to return to the competition circuit for one final round, to end 2010-2011 on a positive note; and more than anything to have fun.

I arrived in Tignes full of hope and optimism, excited to be at an event that feels like summer camp.  The majority of the athletes and industry guests stay in the same hotel, eat in the same restaurant, and lounge at the same bar, not to mention ski the same course!  Day in and day out we are with our friends, reminded that we are all here to push the limits, push ourselves and push each other.  The environment is phenomenal and much less stressful than Aspen X-Games.  The pipe in Tignes was amazing- one of the best I’ve skied all year.  I was confident my run would come together and didn’t feel that I needed to rush anything.  The first night of training I kept things mellow, I focused on grabbing my alley-oop 5 and keeping my amplitude up from top to bottom.  The next night I was ready to dial things in.

After a few warm-up runs I went to do my first 900 of the trip.  I over-rotated and ended up doing a 10.  Well, I got that demon off my back. When I went back up to do another 900, I knew I needed to set less.  Lift into the trick and set the rotation less hard.  Somehow I lifted (I went about 10-12′ out) but missed my pop.  I hit the deck and then cartwheeled into the flat bottom.  I can remember seeing the ground coming towards me as I was coming out of the cartwheel, but there was no time to react or adjust.  I tried to stretch to slow down my flipping and to attempt to land on my feet, but the best I could do was slam down on my side.  I hit my head, despite having my right arm up to protect it.  I knocked myself out, dislocated my shoulder, sprained my MCL and sprained my ankle.  Laying on the ground, in the middle of the pipe, I remember briefly trying to sit up, but failing, trying to move my right arm, but to no avail. I was scared.  I kept reminding myself of the pain that my father has had to endure- the discomfort, the blind faith that he needed to keep himself going.  So I found that blind faith myself.  I knew there were people coming to help me and they would move as quickly as they could.  There was no need to panic, whatever pain I was experiencing was only temporary.  But judging by the number of people that sped down to me, I knew my crash was bad, and I was uncertain at that point how bad the damage was.  (Click here to watch the crash: Euro-X Crash 2011)

After about an hour I arrived to a small hospital in Tignes.  I know that I went in an ambulance and I remember that Elana was in the cab while I rode in the back, but I have no visual memories of it.  I think my eyes were closed.  As I was being wheeled into the hospital, the ceiling began to feel like the floor and I actually laughed to myself knowing that it couldn’t be- but the morphine was having it’s way with me.  After the first X-Ray they could see no threatening fractures.  The nurse pointed to a blanket on the ground and had me lay down.  The doctor came over and with encouragement from the nursing staff to “relax” the doctor managed to get my shoulder back in place with great ease.  It was the best feeling in the world.  I thanked him profusely.

Typically after a season ender like this, I cry, generally not from physical pain, but from frustration and disappointment.  But for some reason this time, I didn’t cry much.  I think I was in shock, disbelief, that after all of my refocusing, this was how my season was going to end.  But such is life.  We are given obstacles to overcome, and in doing so we grow as human beings. There are always lessons to be learned from these situations.  You always gain insight into another piece of yourself.  I don’t know what those lessons are yet, I don’t know what insights I’ll gain, but I have faith. I have to have faith, that this happened purely to make me stronger.

Perhaps this is an opportunity to do exactly what it said in my horoscope (see pics below). “Don’t look at the negatives in your life- look at what’s right. Be optimistic in your career but stay within sight of reality. When you push the envelope it can leave you stressed and exhausted.”  Maybe this will be the time that I actually learn the hardest lesson of them all- knowing when to take a break, knowing when I’ve had too much, and resting before it’s too late.  Life is short and we often rush through it.  We push past our accomplishments, cross them off the “to-do-list”, and move on to the next bigger and better thing.  Savor what’s good, be grateful for what’s right.  Always look ahead, but don’t forget where you came from.  Just because what you’ve accomplished is done, doesn’t mean that what you’ve accomplished is gone.

P.S- My shoulder, knee, ankle and head (physically and mentally) are all doing much better.  I only ended up with a slight tear to the gleno-humeral ligament in my shoulder, which can heal without surgery.  I’ve been on the slow train with rehab, but hopefully at the 4 week mark from the accident (this Tuesday) I’ll be able to take things up a notch.  Sadly, there will be no more skiing for me this winter, but I am looking forward to skiing this summer, having fun on some slush jumps, skiing for me, savoring every moment, and coming back next winter with vengeance.

This trip to Japan has been all that I dreamed of and more.  It is so easy to get extremely attached to our goals, to feel that we have to push and push to get there.  Sometimes we forget to slow down and enjoy the journey, not just the destination.  I wanted to take this trip to reorient myself, to step away from the grind, and to realize that life is what you make it.

At the start of this season my dad underwent a stem cell transplant (the modern technique for what used to be a bone marrow transplant).  I was filled with uncertainty about how he would come out of it, of how my mom would deal with helping him; I was uncertain as to how I would handle skiing and competing knowing that my parents were in Connecticut struggling with this monster.  But I did what I’ve always done in challenging times: focus on the things that need to be done, then proceed one step at a time.  I tried not to get too far ahead of myself, but I couldn’t help setting high expectations for every event, still expecting perfection, and being frustrated when I didn’t reach it.

The last 3 weeks before coming to Japan were long.  We had 3 major events back to back: X-Games, World Championships and then Dew Tour.  Though my skiing was feeling great, I didn’t end up with a win at any of them.  This trip to Japan has shown me that the “win” isn’t what matters.  I showed up to every contest and tried my hardest.  I put everything on the line, and I am skiing better than ever before.  If I had the ability to only focus on my performance in those moments and not get distracted by my competitors, I think I would have felt better about things.  So thank you Japan, for providing this insight.

Here’s how it happened: I left my “life” in Salt Lake City, I abandoned my “life” in the halfpipe, I distanced myself from my “life” as a pro skier and realized that “LIFE” was still continuing on.  Here I was in Japan, in one of the most beautiful and inspiring countries on this earth, and I wasn’t competing.  I had nothing to prove to anyone, I could just be in the mountains skiing for me.  Appreciation overwhelemed me and I found myself thanking the mountains, trees, and snow for being there for my enjoyment.  I began to feel extremely connected to my surroundings because I had taken a minute to realize that this is a “life” experience.  When you step away from what you consider life, and you realize you’re still alive- that’s when you can really start living.

I think this is something that we all need to do more of.  It is something that my dad and mom have certainly realized through their journey.  We all get attached to goals, to performance, to success and we end up overcommitting, trying to please everyone and sometimes forgetting to just please ourselves.  Yes, life is short, but it is what it is.  We all need to slow down, to just be happy where we are for a minute, to breathe, to take in our surroundings, to be grateful for the gifts we have been given.  Life isn’t about crossing all your goals off your list, it is about loving every minute you are alive.

My dad crossed his 100 day mark from his stem cell transplant while I have been on this trip.  He and my mom are doing exceptionally well and for that, I am so grateful.  They have both helped me so much in realizing all of my dreams and I feel so lucky to have them as parents.  I know that they are both excited for the new privileges that come with this 100 day milestone, like the possibility of socially interacting with other people, and sharing a bed for the first time again.  What got them through, and what gets us all through, is focusing on the good, focusing on the plenty that you have and not the little that you don’t have.  Thanks mom and dad for being such an inspiration to me. I love you both dearly.

And thank you all for reading.  I wish you the happiest life you can imagine!

xo

Jen

Thank heaven for Giro.  Because of them, Ingrid Backstrom, Justin Dorey, Mike Riddle and myself have been skiing pow in Japan for the last 2 days.  Though I’ve been to Japan several times, this is my first trip to the North Island to play in its reputable powder.

Japan is my favorite place to travel, and now having spent a few days up North in the Niseko area, Japan is furthering its lead from the rest of the pack.  The energy here is unmatched, the culture is thick and deeply rooted, the people are warm and welcoming, and the snow is light and deep.  This trip is bringing me back to my roots, giving me the opportunity to remember where my love of skiing began, to reconnect with my inner self in a physical way.  To step away from the competition scene and take a few deep breathes.  To slow my pace, lower the intensity and just ski for the pure love and joy of it all.

And so far, so good.  I already feel rejuvenated from one night of skiing at Grand Hirafu and one full day at Hanazona.  The pace is so much slower than on the competition circuit.  When I’m competing I will ski for 2-3 very intense hours- lots of laps, lots of pushing myself, lots of pressure.  But here days are long.  You’ll get to the top of a zone and stand and wait, then wait some more- photogs need to set up… Then you’ll drop and make 3 turns or hit one feature.  Then you wait.  A single lap can take an hour and a half.  But it teaches you patience and discipline, and exercises focus in an entirely new way.  Not to mention, you learn to let go of instant gratification.  When competing you know right away how you did- the judges give you feedback.  But out here, you won’t see your shots for days, weeks, months… ultimately you just learn to let go, to trust in the process, to enjoy the stillness and appreciate the skiing when it is there.

Tomorrow we’re headed to do some road laps in a zone called “Stairway to Hell.”  Doesn’t exactly sound as relaxing as I was just making it out to be… but it will be incredible.  And thanks to Giro, I get to spend my day tomorrow with an amazing group of athletes- enjoying their company, learning from them, and growing closer together.

Last Saturday, February 5th, 2011, was a historic day.  It was the first time that the FIS Freestyle World Championships was held in the USA.  Representatives from the IOC (International Olympic Committee) were in attendance watching ski pipe and slope.  They were using this event as an evaluation for both events’ possible inclusion in the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia in 2014.

Finals started at 11:00 am on Saturday and when the 24 finalists showed up for training the weather was questionable.  Snow was falling and the crosswinds were blowing at about 25 miles an hour.  Keeping your speed up was going to be quite a challenge.  But all of us saw the bigger picture and instead of showing up to be number one that day, we were all on the same mission to put on a good show for the IOC.

We made it through training and by the time the contest got underway the snow had mostly stopped. The pipe was a bit quicker, but the wind still made it nearly impossible to land high tranny on the skier’s left wall.  If you went big enough the gusts would blow you into the middle of the pipe, making it hard to maintain speed into your next hit.

My first run I dropped in with a lot of speed and landed my 900 tail grab high on the wall.  Skiing into the next hit, the inside edge of my left ski got caught in some sluff and spun me out of control into the next hit.  I only scored a 24.8 out of 50 for that run.  Everything would now be riding on my 2nd and final run for the 4th time this season!  Mentally I was freaking out because strange things like this have been happening a lot this year.  It felt that no matter how prepared I have been things outside of my control have been trying to stop me.  On my 2nd run I landed my 900 cleanly, but the wind had its way with me on my alley-oop and I flailed… My alley-oop 5 wasn’t grabbed and I landed low so my speed was slow going into my 540.  I missed the grab on my 540, but carried on… I ended my run with a 720 tail grab and it would be enough for 2nd place.

Considering the conditions of the day, I was happy to be back on the podium and relieved to know that I am still capable of pulling out runs in clutch moments.  The ladies put on a great show with lots of inverts and 900s despite the nasty weather.  I got to share the podium with Roz-G of Canada who took home the gold.  Her consistency this year has been exceptional and her technical run paid off on Saturday.  In 3rd was another Canadian, Keltie Hansen whose amplitude, back-to-back 540s and 720 landed earned her that position.  Sarah Burke took 4th and is letting the world know that her 1st place run at X-Games was no accident. The 5th and 6th place positions were rounded out by Americans Brita Sigourney and Devin Logan.

Though I wanted to win World Champs at home I am really happy with 2nd.  Not to mention I feel like another victory was achieved.  All of us put on a spectacular showing regardless of the weather and without a doubt the IOC took note.  They can walk away saying “even if the weather in Sochi is bad, these athletes will put on good show.” In some ways the weather may have ended up working in our favor.

Follow this link to watch my run: 2nd Place Run World Championships

Thanks for reading… off to Snowbasin this week for the final stop of Dew Tour!

xo

Jen

It’s Saturday January 22, 2011.  On Monday January 24, 2011 I will be dropping in to the superpipe at Buttermilk for Winter X-Games XV for the first night of training.  This is my 7th (believe it or not) X-Games but it’s my first time returning as defending champion.  Being in this position makes me respect the athletes that have achieved back-to-back  gold medals.  Like Sarah Burke who had back-to-back-to-back gold medals in superpipe until last season.  Her ability to always focus on what she needed to get done is amazing, and to never be thrown off course because of the added pressure from “expectations” is even more admirable.

That being said, I am so energized to get in that pipe at Buttermilk.  I have done all of the preparations that I am capable of outside of that pipe.  I need to get in there and get going- only then will we be able to see what the possible outcomes will be.  It is a really exciting year to be involved in ski halfpipe because for the first time the world is aware of our push for the Olympics.  Previously it was just us in our industry who knew what we were working towards, now everyone will be paying attention- hopefully the IOC will take note.

Tomorrow I will be driving to Colorado and staying with a friend in Avon.  My skis need some special attention for X-Games to make sure they will be fast enough, so I will get those dialed.  Then Monday morning I will head to Aspen for registration and at 4 pm I will drop into the best halfpipe in the world.  Ready to charge, ready to push myself to max capacity, ready to watch everyone else do the same.  That is where the motivation comes from, the inspiration.  It is what I live for right now- it completes me.

I encourage you to get out there doing what you love and find the motivation to stick with your goals.  Be inspired by those around you who might be your biggest competition, but look at what they are doing right and figure out how to apply it to your life.  But most importantly stay true to yourself and make sure you are in it for the right reason- because you love it and you want to be doing it.

That’s all for now, but stay tuned for updates from X!

Spending Christmas at home in Connecticut was just what the doctor ordered. I may not have been in the house I grew up in, or the apartment my parents moved in to, but I was still “home”. Not only did my knee need a break from skiing, but my mind and spirit did as well. Seeing my parents and understanding their struggles allowed me to put all of my struggles in perspective. I live a charmed life. I am surrounded by people who love and support me, I have a small, but very powerful fan base that encourages me to keep going when things get tough (thanks guys!), I get to pursue my dreams everyday and travel the world doing so, I have a house over my head, a car to get me where I need to go, a dog that loves me unconditionally and a sister and a boyfriend in Salt Lake that do a phenomenal job of keeping me grounded.

Strange then isn’t it, that stress can find its way into my life the way water finds it’s way through small cracks. It seeps in, soaks into the wood, weakens it until the wood gives way and all of the water (aka: problems) comes flooding in. This is how things seem to happen with challenges that we face. We think we have it all under control, but we are perhaps ignoring the under-lying issues.

I have been reading a book by Deepak Chopra, (I may have mentioned it in a blog last month), called “Reinventing The Body, Resurrecting The Soul”. Most recently I have been reading the chapters on resurrecting the soul, and am very excited to start implementing some of Chopra’s incredible insight. No change can happen without first being aware of what it is that isn’t making you feel good. Right now I am becoming aware of certain thoughts and feelings that are making me unsettled, to the point that physical pains are popping up. I have been suppressing these thoughts, suppressing these feelings because I felt “I shouldn’t be having these thoughts, they’re irrational”. But, ignoring them doesn’t make them go away, in fact it makes them come back stronger. It is time to release the boundaries of my competitive nature to see what unlimited options there are for me in the world.

This is a paragraph that Chopra wrote about competitive people and it sounded all too familiar. Just what I needed to help me grow.

Competitiveness, overachieving, and acting overbearing is a very general ego strategy, one that externalizes fulfillment and makes it dependent on winning. The underlying feeling can be hard to read. It could be anger or fear. It could be anything, really, since the person is so fixated on outer accomplishment that there are no windows looking inward. The physical cues are also hard to read, because competitive people exert constant efforts to be energized, up and running. They are easy to read when they fail, however, since this leads to anger, frustration, and depression. Instead of examining those feelings, the born winner waits them out until he has recharged his batteries and is up again. But no matter how exuberant and energized they appear, overly competitive people secretly know the price they are paying for being number one. Climbing to the top excites them, but they feel exhausted and insecure once they get there, anxious about what tomorrow will bring- which is inevitably newer, younger competitors just like them. In time, winners can end up baffled and confused. They have built so many inner barriers to protect their “weak” feelings as they would label them- that when they decide to look inward at last, they have little idea how to go about it. (Chopra, p. 168-169)

Therein lies my next challenge. To look inward: face my horrible fear of failure, embrace and accept it, let go of boundaries, rediscover why I started this journey in the first place. In 2011 I will be committed to remember that this is the path I chose for myself because I LOVE IT- to be my personal best not just number one.